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Is My Child's Behavior 'Normal'?

Thanks to Nancy, a child psychologist and on-call school counselor for sending this article in!

Being normal isn't always all it's chalked up to be, but sometimes parents wonder if the emotional outbursts, flights of fancy and mood swings their children experience are par for the course or something to worry about.   

Here are some general developmental milestones for elementary school to help you understand your child's progress over the school year.  Keep in mind that every child is different and may not fit perfectly into this framework.

[Grade 1]   [Grade 2]   [Grade 3]   [Grade 4]   [Grade 5]   [Grade 6]

 

First Grade  (Age 6)

Where They Are
The average six-year old is extremely egocentric and wants to be the center of attention.  She:

bulletWants to be the "best" and "first."
bulletHas boundless energy.
bulletMay be oppositional, silly, brash, and critical.
bulletCries easily; shows a variety of tension-releasing behavior.
bulletIs attached to the teacher.
bulletHas difficulty being flexible.
bulletOften considers fantasy real.
  
Where They're Going
School isn't just about academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow socially. At six-years-old, your child is learning to understand himself. You can help by encouraging him as he:
  
bulletDevelops a positive, realistic self-concept.
bulletLearns to respect himself.
bulletBegins to understand his own uniqueness.
bulletGains awareness of his feelings.
bulletLearns to express feelings.
bulletLearns how to participate in groups.
bulletBegins to learn from his mistakes.

 

Second Grade (Age 7)

Where They Are
At seven, kids begin to calm down a bit. They:
  
bulletBegin to reason and concentrate.
bulletWorry, are self-critical, and may express a lack of confidence.
bulletDemand more of their teacher's time.
bulletDislike being singled out, even for praise.
  
Where They're Going
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping her grow socially. At seven-years-old, your child is continuing to learn about herself and others. You can help by encouraging her as she:
  
bulletDevelops a concept of herself.
bulletBegins to understand others.
bulletGains respect for others.
bulletBuilds relationships with others.
bulletDevelops a sense of responsibility.

 

Grade Three (Age 8)

Where They Are
The average eight-year-old is explosive, excitable, dramatic, and inquisitive. She:
  
bulletPossesses a "know-it-all" attitude.
bulletIs able to assume some responsibility for her actions.
bulletActively seeks praise.
bulletMay undertake more than she can handle successfully.
bulletIs self-critical.
bulletRecognizes the needs of others.
  
Where They're Going
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow socially. At eight-years-old, your child is learning how to set goals and understand the consequences of his behavior. You can help by encouraging him as he:
  
bulletExplores the relationship of feelings, goals, and behavior.
bulletLearns about choices and consequences.
bulletBegins setting goals.
bulletBecomes more responsible.
bulletLearns how to work with others.

 

Grade Four (Age 9)

Where They Are
Nine is a time of general confusion for kids. Nine-year-olds:
  
bulletWant to put some distance between themselves and adults, and may rebel against authority.
bulletNeed to be part of a group.
bulletSeek independence.
bulletPossess a high activity level.
bulletCan express a wide range of emotions and verbalize easily.
bulletCan empathize.
bulletCan think independently and critically, but are tied to peer standards.
bulletBegin to increase their sense of truthfulness.
bulletAre typically not self-confident.
  
Where They're Going
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping her grow socially. At nine-years-old, your child is learning how to make decisions and set standards. You can help by encouraging your child as she:
  
bulletBegins making decisions.
bulletGains a greater sense of responsibility.
bulletSets personal standards.
bulletDevelops personal interests and abilities.
bulletDevelops social skills.
bulletLearns to engage in group decision-making.

 

Grade Five (Age 10)

Where They Are
The average ten-year-old has a positive approach to life. She:
  
bulletTends to be obedient, good natured, and fun.
bulletPossesses a surprising scope of interests.
bulletFinds TV very important and identifies with TV characters.
bulletIs capable of increasing independence.
bulletIs becoming more truthful and dependable.
bulletTends to be improving her self-concept and acceptance of others.
bulletForms good personal relationships with teachers and counselors.
  
Where They're Going
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow socially. At ten-years-old, your child is developing communication skills and becoming more mature. You can help by encouraging him as he:
  
bulletImproves his listen and responding skills.
bulletIncreases his problem-solving abilities.
bulletBegins to undergo maturational changes.
bulletGains awareness of peer and adult expectations.

 

Grade Six (Age 11)

Where They Are
The average eleven-year-old is heading towards adolescence. He:
  
bulletShows more self-assertion and curiosity.
bulletIs socially expansive and aware.
bulletIs physically exuberant, restless, wiggly, and talks a lot.
bulletHas a range and intensity of emotions.
bulletIs moody and easily frustrated.
bulletCan relate feelings.
bulletIs competitive, wants to excel, and may put down "out group".
bulletExhibits "off-color" humor and silliness.
bulletTeases and tussles.
  
Where They're Going
School isn't just academics. At eleven-years-old, your child is making the transition to adolescence. You can help by encouraging her as she:
  
bulletCopes with changes.
bulletTransitions to adolescence.
bulletWorks on her interpersonal skills.
bulletHandles peer groups/pressure.
bulletDevelops personal interests and abilities.
bulletTakes on greater responsibility for her behavior and decisions.

 

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